Here's my first "before" picture. You might think I'm a little silly for putting the "personal use only" across my picture. I saw someone else do it on a weight-loss blog, and thought it seemed a little paranoid. But then I saw someone's personal picture used in a diet pill ad, as the "before" picture. So, I may be paranoid, but I don't want to see a picture of me in some pop-up ad for diet pills! :)
Is it a wake-up call for me to see myself so straightforward as this? Yes, honestly it is a bit. You'd think I'd be pretty aware of how big I am, but I wasn't always this big, and somehow my mind still thinks I'm as small as I used to be. In my head, I don't think of myself as being fat. Sort of the opposite of what anorexics feel. They can be disturbingly thin, and still feel like they are fat and disgusting. Don't get me wrong, I don't walk around thinking I'm all that or anything. I know I'm big, but I guess in my mind I'm still about a size 18 or 20, not a 32.
So, here's today's breakdown:
Weight today: 376.8 lbs
Mental level: 9, on a scale of 0-10, 0 being standing on the ledge with a knife to my wrist, and a 10 being my perception of a normal functioning person.
Exercise today: I did 8 flights of stairs today, and 20 minutes walking around outside. My calves are feeling the burn of the stairs yesterday, but I'm working through it, because I know the more I do, the better I'll feel.
Food intake today: Very good! I'm at 2047 calories consumed, and 344 burned off, leaving me at a net calorie intake of 1703. We had our company Christmas party and I knew I would be too hungry to eat healthy if I didn't have something a little before the luncheon itself. I bought a salad from the cafeteria downstairs and had that before the luncheon, which made a big difference when it came to eating moderate portions there. Using the "Lose It!" app, I estimate that the salad was about 600 calories, and the plate of food at the luncheon was about 850. I'm counting the luncheon as my dinner, even though it was early in the afternoon. I'm going to bed pretty early, so just having water, or maybe a glass of milk should tide me over before bed.
Inspirational Quote of the Day:
"The future depends on what we do in the present." - Mahatma Gandhi
I Googled "inspirational quotes" and a website came up, with this quote right at the top. Perfect! If I want a different future than my present or past, I need to start making the changes now. The future won't be any different than the present if I don't start changing things.
