London 2012: Day 12

Well, back from Christmas with Hans' family. Had a nice time, ate more than I should have, and will likely pay the price for it.

I guess the upside was my goal was to lose 2 pound per week, and since this is day 12, that's just under 2 weeks, so I should be closing in 4 pounds of loss "by the books", and I'm at 3.4.

I had 11 pounds lost, but the overindulgence yesterday wiped out the overage I had. So, even though I'm disappointed in losing my lead, I'm still not behind in the original goal.

So, here's today's breakdown. It's earlier in the day than I usually do this, but I don't plan on doing any more damage than I've already done.

Since it's Saturday, we'll start with the measurements:

Neck: 16.25 (down 0.5 inch)
Right Arm: 22 (down 1 inch)
Left Arm: 23 (up 1 inch...can't help wondering if I mixed up the measurements last week)
Bust: 57.5 (down 1.5 inches, but I am wearing a different bra, so I'm dismissing this one)
Chest: 51 (up 1 inch)
Tummy: 62.5 (no change)
Waist: 53.5 (down 0.5 inch)
Belly/Hips: 69.5 (down 1 inch)
Right Thigh: 35 (down 0.5 inch)
Left Thigh: 35.5 (no change)

So, no drastic changes, but more "down" than "no change" or "up"

Here's the daily breakdowns:

Weight: 375 (down 3.4 pounds from starting weight on December 15th)

Mental Level: 7. Just "eh" today. Did some good stuff like write my thank you notes for Christmas presents, but also doubt I'll go out and do much exercise. I've already pretty much decided I'm not going to the library to return the books that are due today. They'll end up going back on Monday.

Exercise Today: None yet, but it is still only early afternoon. I doubt I'll go out of the house and hike, but I may do some aerobics since Hans isn't home.

Food Intake Today: Ok so far. Did a Christmas tradition and had some candy in bed before getting up. Chocolate tastes so amazingly good first thing in the morning! Honestly, it's not something I normally ever do, it's really only a Christmas thing, so it's not that bad. I logged it in my "Lose It!" app, and I'm not going to have any more candy today, so I'm not going to beat myself up for it.

Inspirational Quote of the Day:
"Our greatest glory consists not in never falling, but in rising every time we fall."
-Oliver Goldsmith

Christmas Eve I made no entry because we went directly from work to Hans' parents house. A general rundown of the day though: Good eating, good exercising (8 flights of stairs, 30 minutes walking), good mental state throughout the day, but by evening, something snapped and I dropped to about a 1 on my scale of 0-10 (0 being standing on a ledge with a knife against my wrist, and 10 being a normal functioning person). It took all I could to just sit with a book, read or pretend to read and not hurt myself. If you have had depression, I'm sorry, I'm truly sorry, because you understand what I mean. If you've never had depression, I'm so happy for you, because no matter how many pages I could write about it, you'll never truly know what the hell it is to be in that state.

Christmas day I made no entry because we were still at Hans' parents house, and there is no computer there. I did really quite good on the eating until dinner, and if I hadn't had that second plate really would have been proud of myself. The second plate made me emotionally feel like I'd failed, and physically feel like I was about to die. I couldn't believe the stomach pain. Very, very bad decision. Emotionally I was good, maybe a 5 or 6, and I didn't do any exercising.

So, that brings us to today, the day after Christmas. I'm still on track in terms of 2 pounds a week lost, but I did seem to lose my lead. Perhaps I'll regain it, but for now, I'll take it as a victory that I'm not giving up.

London 2012: Day 9

Feeling better now than I was most of the day. Just going to cut to the chase though.

Weight: 367.2, down 11.2 pounds from my starting weight on December 15th.

Mental Level: Was as low as a 2, but is probably about a 6 or so.

Exercise Today: Walked up 12 flights of stairs, and 30 minutes of walking. I think I'm overestimating the calorie burning power of stair climbing though.

Food Intake Today: Ok enough. Net 1756 calories intake.

Inspirational Quote of the Day:
"It is hard to fail, but it is worse never to have tried to succeed." - Theodore Roosevelt

Hey, at least I'm trying. Some days (like today) it seems so pointless, and that I'm doomed to fail anyhow, but I'm still trying.

London 2012: Day 8

Just the basics tonight.

Weight: 369.6
Mental Level: 10
Exercise Today: Up 16 flights of stairs + 30 minutes walking
Food Intake Today: Pretty good. Net intake 2278.
Inspirational Quote of the Day:
"Life is either a daring adventure or nothing." - Helen Keller

I guess watching two excellent episodes of Doctor Who just now inspired that one...

London 2012: Day 7

Wow! It's been a week already! Fantastic! I'm definitely feeling better, and the stair-climbing is paying off!

It's past my bedtime, so just a quick rundown:

Weight: 370.4, up a bit from yesterday, but that could still be the fritzy battery in the scale. Down 8 pounds from my starting weight 7 days ago on December 15.

Mental Level: 10! Excellent, excellent day.

Exercise Today: Up (and down) 16 flights of stairs + 30 minutes walking.

Food Intake Today: Very good! 2341 intake, minus 612 burned off with exercise leaves a net intake of 1728 calories.

Inspirational Quote of the Day:
"Go confidently in the direction of your dreams. Live the life you have imagined."
-Henry David Thoreau

Just like yesterday, this is pretty straightforward. I couldn't say it better myself.

Brightest Blessings on this Winter Solstice! As the days grow longer, so will my endurance, as the nights grow shorter, so will my girth! ;)

London 2012: Day 6

Had a great day hanging out with friends and making crafty stuff. :)

Just the basics today, I'm pretty tired and want to get wrapped up for bed soon.

Weight: 368.6, down 9.8 pounds since starting December 15th.

Mental Level: About an 8 or so. Although I had a great day with friends, I had a lot of self doubt and needed to work on that from within today.

Exercise Today: Honestly, none. I got up, went straight to my friend's house, did crafts for 4 hours, went to my other friend's house, talked with her for a bit, and then went home. I'm pretty tired and will likely go to bed soon, even though it's early.

Food Intake Today: Excellent! I showed admirable restraint at my friend's house. It was a pot-luck, and there was loads of delicious food, but I ate a very reasonable amount. Using "Lose It!", I've estimated to have eaten about 1200 calories today, and honestly, I'm not particularly hungry. I may have some turkey breast slices and apples before I go to bed, but it will be a very light dinner.

Inspirational Quote of the Day:
"Success is the sum of small efforts, repeated day in and day out." - Robert Collier

I can't say it better myself!

I am so proud of myself for the effort I've been putting in these past five days. I'm down nearly 10 pounds! I just repeat that 19 more times, and I'm to my goal! :)

London 2012: Day 5

The first weekend of my endeavor! Weekends are often hard for me, because if I don't keep busy, it can be tempting to just eat to pass the time.

I got up early, went to Palmdale to buy some fruit for a Winter Solstice gathering I'm going to tomorrow, and when I came back, I took our dogs for a 35 minute hike. Took some nice pictures, which, if you're interested, can be found here:
http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=2036626&id=197402605&l=aa74d2302e

I was going through some stuff, and found my tape measure! So, here is my first set of measurements.

Neck: 17.25 in.
Right Arm: 23 in.
Left Arm: 22 in.
Bust: 59 in.
Chest: 50 in.
Tummy: 62.5 in.
Waist: 54 in.
Hips/Belly: 70.5 in.
Right Thigh: 35.5 in.
Left Thigh: 35.5 in.

Can you imagine, one thigh is about the same size as the hips on the average Playboy model! I've got a lot of inches to lose! My goal weight is 150 lbs, and I'm estimating that as about a size 16. Using the size charts on http://www.oldnavy.com/ (my favorite store!) to be a size 16 I'd be shooting for measurements around 45-37-47. That means I'm looking to lose 14 inches off the bust, 17 inches off the waist (and tummy area), and 23 inches off the hips/belly. I think I'll go for measuring myself weekly.

Today's breakdown:

Weight: 370.8 (down 7.6 pounds from my start weight on 12/15/09). I should have weighed myself before the burritos! Those things weighed at least a pound! ;)

Mental Level: Excellent. I would say a 10 today, on my scale of 0-10 with 0 being on the ledge with a knife to my wrist and 10 being my perception of a normal functioning person. I got up, ran errands, did some housework, took a hike with our dogs, made myself two delicious healthy meals, and feel really pulled-together.

Exercise Today: I took our two dogs for a 35 minute hike around the area here. Uphill stretches, downhill stretches and level stretches. Definitely got my heart-rate up, and it felt great to be outside! Based on the "Lose It!" app, this exercise burned 519 calories, which is comparable to my walking/stair-climbing from during the week.

Food Intake Today: Very good! Cereal for breakfast, turkey and cheddar sandwich, a tomato and yogurt for lunch and two big bean burritos for dinner. My calorie intake for today is 1812, minus the 519 burned from exercising bringing my net intake down to 1293. It's 5:30 pm now, and I'm still stuffed from my burrito dinner, so it's doubtful I'll eat anything before bed.

Inspirational Quote of the Day:
"Happy are those who dream dreams and are ready to pay the price to make them come true." -Leon J. Suenes

I thought this one was nice today. I'm dreaming my dream of going to England, and the "price" I'm paying is giving up bad habits that didn't really bring me any happiness. I want to make my dream of going to England come true, and I'm willing to pay the "price"! :)

London 2012: Day 4

Finally Friday! I can't wait to sleep in tomorrow! Of course, after weeks of getting up at 6am, sleeping in is like 8am! :)

I was thinking about the quote "Nothing tastes as good as skinny feels."

There is some controversy surrounding it, because it's apparently quoted frequently on pro-anorexia websites. I think anything used in a bad context can seem bad. In no way am I pro-anorexia. It's a very sad disease, and anyone suffering from it needs treatment, just like with any disease.

I was thinking about the quote today, because someone had left a plate of cupcakes out in the break room at work, and I asked myself if eating one of those cupcakes would taste as good as what it will feel like to step off the plane in England. Obviously, the answer was no. I passed on the cupcakes and didn't give them a second thought!

I'm looking forward to doing some grocery shopping this weekend. I want to try to bulk up my lunches and dinners so I'm not so hungry.

Weight: 374.2, down 4.2 pounds from my starting weight on December 15th. My scale was acting a bit fritzy, so after weighing myself 5 times, I played it safe and took the highest weight. Needless to say, I'm buying new batteries this weekend.

Mental Level: About a 6. I had a rougher day than I've had in weeks, though nothing compared to my usual "rough days". Again, this is on a scale of 0-10, 0 being on the ledge with a knife to my wrist and 10 being my perception of a normal functioning person.

Exercise Today: Excellent! In spite of my flagging emotional state I managed to walk up 16 flights of stairs today! Again, not all at once, but spread out over the course of the day; 2 flights here, 2 flights there. I also spent 30 minutes walking outside.

Food Intake Today: Very good here as well. According to my "Lose It!" app, I've consumed 2621 calories, but have burned off 621 calories with exercise, bringing me to a net 2000 calorie intake.

Inspirational Quote of the Day:
"What progress, you ask, have I made? I have begun to be a friend to myself."
-Hecato, Greek philosopher

I was scanning through the Inspirational Quotes website to find a quote for today, and I saw a couple that were good, but I didn't want to "settle", I wanted to find a quote that when I read it, it brought a smile to my face, and was really relevant. This one did that! I truly have become a friend to myself!

Off to watch a little TV with Hans, then off to bed.

London 2012: Day 3

Here's my first "before" picture. You might think I'm a little silly for putting the "personal use only" across my picture. I saw someone else do it on a weight-loss blog, and thought it seemed a little paranoid. But then I saw someone's personal picture used in a diet pill ad, as the "before" picture. So, I may be paranoid, but I don't want to see a picture of me in some pop-up ad for diet pills! :)

Is it a wake-up call for me to see myself so straightforward as this? Yes, honestly it is a bit. You'd think I'd be pretty aware of how big I am, but I wasn't always this big, and somehow my mind still thinks I'm as small as I used to be. In my head, I don't think of myself as being fat. Sort of the opposite of what anorexics feel. They can be disturbingly thin, and still feel like they are fat and disgusting. Don't get me wrong, I don't walk around thinking I'm all that or anything. I know I'm big, but I guess in my mind I'm still about a size 18 or 20, not a 32.

So, here's today's breakdown:

Weight today: 376.8 lbs

Mental level: 9, on a scale of 0-10, 0 being standing on the ledge with a knife to my wrist, and a 10 being my perception of a normal functioning person.

Exercise today: I did 8 flights of stairs today, and 20 minutes walking around outside. My calves are feeling the burn of the stairs yesterday, but I'm working through it, because I know the more I do, the better I'll feel.

Food intake today: Very good! I'm at 2047 calories consumed, and 344 burned off, leaving me at a net calorie intake of 1703. We had our company Christmas party and I knew I would be too hungry to eat healthy if I didn't have something a little before the luncheon itself. I bought a salad from the cafeteria downstairs and had that before the luncheon, which made a big difference when it came to eating moderate portions there. Using the "Lose It!" app, I estimate that the salad was about 600 calories, and the plate of food at the luncheon was about 850. I'm counting the luncheon as my dinner, even though it was early in the afternoon. I'm going to bed pretty early, so just having water, or maybe a glass of milk should tide me over before bed.

Inspirational Quote of the Day:

"The future depends on what we do in the present." - Mahatma Gandhi

I Googled "inspirational quotes" and a website came up, with this quote right at the top. Perfect! If I want a different future than my present or past, I need to start making the changes now. The future won't be any different than the present if I don't start changing things.

London 2012: Day 2

Just a quick post to cover the bases, as it's past my bedtime.

Got a Doctor Who DVD from Netflix and 4 episodes with the good Doctor have used my evening.

So, just the basics:

Weight today: 376.2

Mental level: 9, again on a scale of 0-10, zero being standing on the ledge with a knife to my wrist and 10 being my perception of a normal-functioning person.

Exercise today: Brilliant! Walked up 12 flights of stairs! I don't think I've walked up 12 flights of stairs in the last year, but I did so in one day today! Not all at once. 4 flights at a time, 3 times today. Also walked outside the building for 30 minutes. (10 min each, 3 times, to catch my breath after the stairs!) According to the "Lose It!" app on my iPhone, I burned just over 500 calories with this exercise. Excellent!

Food intake today: Very good. According to the "Lose It!" app, I can consume just over 2500 calories a day and still lose at least 2 pounds a week. I consumed 2135 calories, but exercised 516 calories off, so that left me with a net of 1619 calorie intake. Very happy with myself.

Inspirational quote for today:
"A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step."
I took plenty of steps today, but I'm on my way to London, and I've taken my first step today!

Off to bed!

London 2012: Day 1

I want to go to England.

I've wanted to go for years, and have made it my goal to go before I turn 36 on May 11, 2012.

There is one thing I want to do before I go to England.

I want to lose 200 pounds.

I don't want to go to England and be the "fat American". I want to be able to enjoy every aspect of the trip, from the flight over and walking tours to shopping and blending in.

Losing 200 pounds is actually going to be more than one thing, it's going to be a million little things. One of those little things I did today: I walked up and down 4 flights of stairs today on break (and around the building once to catch my breath!) to help burn off some calories.

Some of the other things I'm going to do:

-eat high-volume low-calorie foods.
-make better food choices.
-drink lots of water.
-walk, climb stairs, lift weights, etc to burn calories.

I'm going to keep this blog to keep me accountable to myself, and if I get some people following this blog, to keep myself accountable to them as well.

I'm going to try to track things each day, such as: weight, measurements, mental level (depression has been a lifelong enemy, and it's always depression that has taken down my other attempts at a healthy lifestyle change), activity level (exercise), food intake and inspirational quotes.

My starting weight (today's weight): is 378.4 pounds.

My mental level today: is about an 8 (on a scale of 0-10, with 0 being on the ledge with a knife to my wrist and 10 being my perception of a fully-functioning normal person)

My exercise for today was: walking up and down 4 flights of stairs, and walking once around the building I work at.

My food intake today was: not great, because I didn't plan on starting this until this afternoon. I will moderate my dinner tonight and all food from now on.

My inspirational quote today is:
"A body at rest tends to stay at rest; a body in motion tends to stay in motion."
I saw this quote today, and it really hit home. For the last month, I've been working a temp job, and I've noticed that it's been very easy to do housework and other chores right after coming home from work. I've been more productive in the last month in terms of keeping up with stuff than I was the entire 8 months I was laid-off. I'm in motion in terms of work and chores, and now I want to get in motion in terms of healthy eating and exercising.

I need to track down my tape measure before I can do any measurements, so we'll shoot for that tomorrow, as well as posting my first progress pictures.

Here's to me! Here's to London in 2012!